Self-Care Lesson #1: You Need It, Now!

Self-Care Lesson #1: You Need It, Now!

Self-Care can be a tricky need to fulfill; we need it daily, yet its requirements are constantly changing. In school we’re taught historical data and how to figure out mathematical equations, yet when it comes to ‘self-care’, at best, most of us only learn how to survive.

Few know how to thrive.

While integral to our health, well-being and happiness, self-care is a skill that’s infrequently taught, and rarely revered. Obvious self-care requirements like eating, sleeping and personal hygiene are a given; to be accepted in modern society you need to clean yourself; to live with some semblance of health you must properly balance sleep and nutrition.

Beyond the basics, most people haven’t a clue what ‘self-care’ really means, or how to provide it for themselves.

Quantity trumps quality these days. We live in a society that wants more: more than our parents; more for our kids; more out of life. In our never-ending pursuit to ‘fill up our plate’ we have forgotten how to ‘fill up our cup’. Never before in human history have people had so much and felt so little fulfillment. With the ‘world at our fingertips’ in our technological age it’s now commonplace to be perpetually tethered to an electronic device; at once connected to the world-at-large and disconnected to oneself. This separation of self from soul has left all but the wisest among us empty, stuffing our lives with ‘fast-food moments’, while desperately seeking meaning, as if it were oxygen.

Self-Care is oxygen.

Nowadays the pursuit of money to fund luxury is seen as honorable, while the act of self-care is viewed as indulgence. We live in a society that prides itself on busyness, an endless maze that takes us astray and leads to burnout. Moms wear their sleeplessness as a badge of honor, as they frantically squeeze another extracurricular into their child’s already over-scheduled life. Businessmen pridefully boast about their ninety hour work week, while ignoring their ever-expanding waistline, and declining health.

In some way, shape or form, day-to-day life gets us off-balance and self-care is how we navigate through the turbulence.

Chances are, more often than not you feel less than your best, and sadly, this is our societal norm. Think about it: how many times have you felt like crap — exhausted, stressed, anxious, unfulfilled, angry, or worse, completely shutdown– and rather than explore how you could better yourself, you accepted feeling bad as a part of life?

Today that pattern ends. Welcome to Self-Care School.

Self-Care is a commitment to fill your cup, daily, so you have plenty to give to others.

Self-Care partners ongoing exploration [of one’s needs] with life-affirming actions. Self-Care is choosing to examine what you’re eating, and make changes when necessary, rather than accept another stomach ache as a side-effect of eating. Self-Care is ditching the ‘friend’ who constantly puts you down in favor of making it a priority to invest in relationships that uplift you.

Self-Care is saying ‘no’ to another so you can say ‘yes’ to yourself.

A Self-Care Specialist™ is one who commits to caring for their own physical, emotional and spiritual needs, on a daily basis. The first step is to uncover your needs; this begins with a daily assessment. Self-Care requires you to connect with yourself as you would your partner, child, or cherished friend. Ask questions, listen, take time daily to get to know who you are and what you need. Then, as a loving mother tends to her child, take care of yourself.

What area of your life is most in need of attention, right now? 

Explore and rate each area of the Self-Care Wheel, on a scale of 0 (totally depleted) to 100 (totally fulfilled), then find one way to improve each area with self-care. Your first thought might be, “I don’t know what I need”, don’t listen, that’s fear talking.

Get out a pen and paper and brainstorm possibilities, when you start to feel a sense of peace, or aliveness, you can be sure you’ve found your self-care solution. This same process of exploration will ever-guide you back to your Truth, and with each self-care step you’ll find yourself moving forward on the path of fulfillment and joy.

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About the Author

A pioneer in the field of Transformational Coaching, Self-Care Tips editor-in-chief, Krista-Lynn Landolfi, founded [est. 1990] as a teenager.  Throughout her decades of service she’s helped thousands to breakthrough limitations and actualize their awesome.  Krista-Lynn has a gift for seeing the infinite potential within another, and calling forth their Super Self, which is the best an individual can be.  The key to actualizing our greatness, in this master coach’s opinion, is simple: self-care.  To learn more about Krista-Lynn’s work, which includes one-on-one coaching, spiritual guidance, group programs and retreats, visit

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